Isn't it funny how simple things like conversations, photos, or a familiar song can act as triggers, causing a flood of memories to resurface from the depths of your mind's archive? It's like stumbling upon a forgotten treasure chest, covered up in dust and debris, and with just a swipe of nostalgia, you're transported back in time.
After chatting with Rebecca on my most recent podcast and reflecting on the shared experiences of having family members struggling with mental illness, I found myself contemplating the rare moments of joy my granny allowed herself to embrace. Despite the struggles and self-imposed punishments she endured, there were fleeting instances when I caught glimpses of pure happiness in her.
The road trip to North Carolina flooded my brain as I began to replay the memory of my grandmother playing Love Potion Number 9 on repeat for hours on end still cracks me up. I can vividly recall the moment when my father, finally reaching his limit after nine hours of the song, insisted on changing the music. But without fail, every time the song restarted, my grandmother would snap her fingers, glance at us - me and my siblings - and exclaim, "This is a great little Diddy!" as though she hadn't just heard it minutes before.
As a child, there are moments when you seemed to understand more than adults around you give you credit for, but then there also times when your shielded by sweet sense of innocence that keeps you from fully grasping life's challenges.
Growing up, my innocence didn't allow me to see my Granny was enduring some unspoken sadness. It was only as I entered adulthood that her struggles became more apparent to me, casting a new light on the memories of my carefree childhood days spent in her presence.
As "Love Potion Number Nine" played on repeat in my mind, as it did in the car ride to North Carolina many years ago. I realized she seemed to radiate the most joy, everytime we were headed back to her home in North Carolina. As a sense of bittersweet realization crept in - perhaps those were the only moments when she truly felt joy. Now that I am older and have a little life under my belt I can see maybe why.
Navigating through adulthood is a journey that can feel like a rollercoaster ride for many, whether battles with mental illness are present or not. The daily challenges of adulting can sometimes make it seem like we're stuck on a never-ending hamster wheel. Despite the ups and downs, I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had for anything in the world and I am forever grateful for the life I get to live, yet it's important to acknowledge that it's completely normal for it to feel tough at times.
We can all agree that the best feeling is when vacation time finally arrives? We're all guilty of eagerly counting down the days, hours, and minutes until we can toss our luggage in the trunk and escape the daily grind. It's like a mini escape from all the responsibilities and stresses of adulting, where for a mere seven days, we can simply run away from it all. The anticipation of that freedom is pure bliss, making those upcoming vacation days feel like a refreshing break from reality.
Reflecting on my Granny's moments of joy, I can't help but think about how music, like "Love Potion Number Nine", and the open road maybe is why she seemed the most at peace. It's like she found a way to conquer her worries, even if it was temporarily, by simply driving away from them for a little while.
In our journey through life, we each have our own secret "Love Potion Number Nine" that serve us in navigating the challenges that come our way. Sometimes, in the middle of constant pursuit of growth and conquering obstacles, we all need a moment or relief, to a quick seven-day run away. Whether we feel like we have everything under control or not, the truth is that there are moments when our spirits need to feel like we need to run away, allowing us to gracefully rejuvenate. It's in these gentle reminders of self-care and self-love that we find the strength to keep pushing forward, knowing that it's okay to take a breather and recharge before continuing our journey.
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